Where art thou Cupid?

Precious love,

Don’t be fooled. Do you truly believe that nobody knows what you’re going through? Well, let me assure you that you are wrong. The suffocating characteristic of despair is anything but an abnormal peculiarity to me. We are what we are. I understand that I am one of the most dangerous animals on this planet. I am the one complaining to you because all you appear to do is say goodbye!

Most of your friends don’t know who I am. Nor do I believe that I’m part of the plan. Who knows, I might turn out to be your best-kept secret. Naivety is necessary to accommodate your purest appearance. It just happens to be so that naïve is my middle name. But then again enough of those bullshit comparisons. How does one feel without fear or guilt? Why did you leave me here all alone? You’ve promised me that face I can come home to but instead, you have led a legion of questions to the shores of my heart. Giving them the prerequisite momentum to taunt me bit by bit.

Many of us are combatting these irrational days where wild cards are invented daily. You’re disappearing act has left quite a mess behind. A trajectory with countless nervous wrecks and people feeling small. A liability if you ask me. I miss YOU darling; mankind misses you! Please come back, your presence would fit our lives like a glove. Collect the debris, which you have left behind, and recycle it for more than it’s worth. Put this puzzle back together. Currently, we are dropping bombs upon each other. Some even pick up guns and gun down their brothers. Slowly man’s course of action is destroying the planet that has provided us with shelter for as long as history can remember. Because we have forgotten what it is to love we have granted disaster capitalism the opportunity to take over. Still, our little secret affair provides that unique magical twinkle in a tidy sum of eyes worldwide. Nobody ever wanted you to go.

I am sorry that a vast percentage of the global population has turned their backs on you, inextricably turning into the wrong direction while tap-dancing on that defining crossroad. Perhaps it was because when looking at you they realized that there was no way of receiving true love without putting it all out on the line first. Is love enough? As I wonder about this question, two words pop up in my weary head, ‘be calm’. While this thought lingers on, I take a sip of my glass filled with a dark red substance that is also referred to as “chateau neuf du pape.” A drink that contains extracts from my two favorite grapes.,  There’s no way that these words make any sense to me at the time being. But why should I care, right? You have left my side while the fights within took a turn for the worst. Here’s a newsflash. I got through it all and was able to get my life back on track, giving back selflessly. I did run, roam and hide, but here I stand beseeching your return.

The liquid slowly invades my system and tricks it into opening the gates of my subliminal thoughts. Sacrilegious considerations trickle into my mind and find a way to protest and riot against the conservative being inside of me. Singing about how that conventional asshole should keep on walking. Is it really over? Should I let those reflections push that conformist bastard away? I do aspire this to be the beginning of something new. While numerous wicked neurons are trying to subdue the person within. A creature that society has tried to shape and tame for so many years. Who put up those gates in the first place? What was their motive? Probing and questioning, I desperately dream of discovering a new kind of human on this spherical rock.

Let’s scrape the gray skies clear and just say that the world begs for more love. It’s a plain and simple truth. So here I am screaming from the top of my lungs, just like an enchanting choirboy would: “I AM done with this world.” Allow this quiet notion to take hold of you. Recognize that change depends on our collective awareness. This does mean you and me. So long ‘one-man submarine rides’ through this lifetime.

Let me crack this code of stubborn egocentrism together with you. Waking up is the hardest part yet here I sit in good company on a comfortable couch, ready for battle. Ready to show you that I care. No more dreaming with broken hearts. Overlooking my life I have found that the past has already set sail to a sanctuary of dusty history books that are not nearly half as popular as the reality TV shows starring our modern-day idiots. So don’t let society fall asleep as a prodigious bouquet of roses is within its reach. Arranged artistically to offer to the hand that protects us and guides us.

Just like everyone else out there, my life could’ve been different. The language of my tears will always remain universal. The world weighs on all of us; thus, I pray that you won’t take the easy way out. Deep down, I hope that this unpretentious letter seduces your stunning presence. I just want to declare that I miss you and am craving your warm embrace. I need you, sweetie. Let us grow gray and old. Don’t say goodbye to me, not this time, not ever

Caring endlessly,

Your expressive diligent dupe, SU

City jungle fever by © Monika Matusiak

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