Dear angel of mercy,
A small personal tragedy is at hand, and I need you now more than ever to pick me up. I hope you’re listening as I speak these words aloud and simultaneously type them. I have never laid my eyes on you, but I believe you hold the key to heaven or paradise on earth as I would call it. I’m tired of just getting by and not being able to help those who need it the most. Making ends meet is just another way of saying I’m chained to these 4 concrete walls around me. As I channel my energy to take one step forward, I somehow am forced to take two steps back. I never seem to get ahead. There’s no question of what I need to do. As the sky is falling, I realize that I need to give back all the little things that have been given to me in order to be truly free. So I beg you, help me to get back on my feet so that I can help myself and those who are tossed aside by our wealthy, greedy, ruthless and materialistic society.
The place that I have called home for over 30 years feels cold and distant. It became so surreal and brutal. The hate never seems to subside, since it’s continuously fed by envy and egocentrism. Days drift by as an insipid collection of hours. Nights seem longer, lonelier and frostier. I hardly sleep. All of that needs to be turned around. I may be dreaming aloud, yet I beseech thee to come home and lend me a hand. Together with those who are aware of how unbalanced this life is, we could turn it around. No matter how aloof this bit of prose may seem to you, I feel the urge to give it a try before we’ve crossed the point of no return. I can’t just stand on a sideline criticizing everything and not do anything at all. I want to act before I have to say adieu to this realm.
Alas, I feel weak and don’t have much strength left in me. The social order’s last blow to my mind has brought me to my knees and brushed off my last whiff of endurance with one swipe. Thus, I need your help. I would be a lucky soul if you held my hand and help me up. I can’t promise you much, but I do assure you that I’ll spend the energy, which has been invested in me, wisely. I will find my way back into this world and will go out on a limb to make sure it won’t go to waste. Please don’t ignore the sound of this desperate carbon replica whose natural way of life started crumbling into tiny bits and pieces. Hopefully, my humble plea reaches you rather sooner than later. This world is at the end of its tether and needs a wealthy bouquet of equality and peace as well as a fair division of this globe’s resources. Resulting in a level of prosperity that suits all.
I’ve been waiting for you since the day I was born but have never been able to express these deepest of thoughts up until today. The moment when I was ruthlessly forced to the floor, I crawled towards one of the four concrete walls of my cell. Just like a wounded animal, searching for the illusion of shelter in order to lick its wounds in peace. This misapprehension does not grant me any satisfaction; I want to make things right, but I am sitting here with my back against this moist and cold wall. Lacking the power to stand up. I had never envisioned these circumstances with my kaleidoscopic mind. The one barrier, my imagination had never dreamed of and never thought of describing in my naive mind, feels so real as I am looking in from the outside while my fingers rush over this keyboard. I do not just wish for rain as I sit here, like a broken man, in this gray and egocentric desert.
A peaceful life is my heaven. My paradise on earth consists of a place that I could roam endlessly and most of all FREELY until my feet go numb. To get there, I must stand on my own two feet. Sturdily in the midst of this wicked civilization. As I broke down, my heart became disoriented, a consequence of society’s last punch. Hence, I need a change in the weather and your strength to pick me up. I hold you closer than most. My big heart and endurance should get me further than before. The sequence of life’s punches the past few years was intolerable, but I still have some of that fighting spirit left in me. All I need is your support.
Please confirm the exemplary image I have of you and creep to me in the years to come. In you, I trust. Your guardianship is crucial to me, seeing that I have misplaced my trust in old acquaintances in the past. I will work around the clock for you, prove my selfless nature incessantly and sacrifice myself. No questions asked.
A lonely and worn-out soul, SU
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